NOT ON MY BODY!
An Essay

Every woman who comes into my booth thinks she’s too fat if she isn’t built like a runway model. I tell them that “fashion model” is a job, not a value judgement! (Just like they hire real tall guys to play basketball.) The models must have the right body for the clothes . If that’s not your job then you get to pick the right clothes for your body. The only guys who really prefer painfully thin mannequins are rock stars and insecure corporate executives! The rest of us get to have curves and bellies and soft sexy spots that guys love to snuggle. And there’s usually a guy standing nearby going “That’s what I keep telling her!”

Please don't think I'm down on models. They're gorgeous. Someone has to be and they got the job. They fuel our fantasies. Icons of beauty to inspire us - show us new ways to look. The rest of us know we aren't that gorgeous and that has to be ok - with everyone. I mean REALLY ok! like as in you can still indulge your inner vamp even if you ain't built like Vampira.

Beauty comes in all sizes and sometimes its the full figured girls are more comfortable with their bodies and more willing to strut out in a Web than the size 8 who used to be a size 6. I think a good figure is well proportioned and curvy. And I especially like to dress ladies with a pronouned hourglas figure and more than a little fless on their bones. I don't believe "a perfect size 16" is a contradiction in terms.I point to photos of 2 very gorgeous women wearing the same bodysuit. One is a cute college girl size 6 and the other is my glamorous friend Dawn size 18. 90% of the people agree they both look great in their webs. The other 10% are aspiring rock stars and insecure middle managers

Saddest of all are the ladies who cannot seem to say a single positive thing about themselves. It's all about "my rolls, my belly, my big butt, all this fat". "Look at this!' they say with revulsion and self condemnation as they point roughly to some problem area which they seem to believe defines them. "Please", I ask, "can you sometime, not necessarily now, but sometime today go 15 minutes without talking about your stomach or your scars or arms or hips? Can you just try it?"

Amazingly the answer is usually "No, I know you're right but just I can't! "

Please ladies forgive yourselves for not being 16 any more! Harsh self judgement is limiting your fun. PLEASE Stop obsessing about the imperfections. I've never heard any guys out there talking about belly pooches and stretch marks. They never notice them because they're all looking at your tits! Truth

I sometimes get flack from insecure arrogant wiseguys who don't appreciate seeing bigger women wearing Webs.

Some even make insulting comments to these women in the street in spite of all the recent findings that such behavior is a leading cause of impotence and a sure sign of a teeny weeny.

Of course I need models to photograph my clothes but the high priced pros are out of the question for my buget. So I keep an eye out for likely amateurs. Discovered the main difference between a pro fashion model and the tall skinny pretty girl next door is the model knows how to flirt with the camera and the girl next door can learn. Thank you Monica, Shannen, Stephanie, Melissa, Brandy, Lisa, Wayne, Archie the 4 Beach Bunny Breakers and all you scrapbook hunks and divas!