The lottery had reached an astounding $300 million when 3 people won - a doctor, a lawyer and a vendor. Reporters asked the doctor "What are you going to do with the money?" And the doctor said that he would like to open free clinics in remote parts of the world to provide health care for the poor.

"And what will you do?' they asked the lawyer who answered that he would retire to the Caribbean, have his caviar flown in weekly and bed a different babe every night.

"Wow, sounds great! And how about you?' they asked the vendor. "Well," he said squinting at the sun., "I guess I'll jes keep doin' shows till the money runs out."

We all laughed ruefully. The story hit home and I was inspired!
Writing jokes is much more fun than whatever job I'm currently avoiding.
So here's what fell out of my pen...

What does a vendor call a T-shirt without an event imprint?
Formal Wear.

What do vendors do between shows?
About 6 or 7 hundred miles a day.

What does a vendor chick do when her old man gets it up?
Stakes it down and tarps it!

What do you call a vendor couple who never fight when setting up or breaking down? Unprofessional. (thanks to Krys and Mario for that one back in '96)

What's a vendors idea of a good nights sleep?
Monday and Tuesday.

What does a vendor usually get between shows?
About 7 miles to the gallon.

What do you call a vendor who takes tub baths?
Retired.

Where do vendors go on vacation?
Home.

What's the first thing a vendor does after getting ripped off?
Hangs the license in a visible location.
(We hear the price for a license at Sturgis this year is gonna be $1000!!!!)

What do you call a vendor who gets rich?
An heir.

What's the last thing a vendor hears before sitting down to a three course dinner?
You want fries with that? (Thanks to Dave Marshall for that one.)

Why do vendors go to hell?
It's a really hot location!

Back to About Us.........Ahead to Tales and Testimonials

P.S....The answer is "Nothing to carry but a laptop".

Why is this vendor quitting to become a comedy writer?